Be Who You Are

Ayah had always told me when i was a little girl not to tell lies. I still remember that i have always get punishments whenever i told lies. He said when you started to tell lies, sooner or later you will become a thief. Want to know what he did? He whacked me with a feather duster. I know it was a bit nasty to do that to your children but i have learnt good lesson from it. I have turned out to be a better person and the most important thing, i am not a liar.

When i reached my adulthood, i train myself to speak only the truth. Ok, maybe most of the time, not all the time (I do tell those white lies sometimes). I know i must  have been hurted many people with my words while practising speak only the truth routine. In the community especially for us, the Malays, we are always taught to be polite. When we talk, we are always taught to mind words that we are going to utter. In Malay we call it, 'cakap beralas'. I know. But even with those 'cakap beralas', i do realize that not many of us can handle the truth, to be realistic and move on whenever they are stucked in the situation. Even myself. Sometimes i do feel reluctant to hear criticisms especially when it comes from Farouk. Hearing those unpleasant comments from him will get myself emotional. Most of the time, i just ignored but when it comes to priority, i do not have any choice but to improve. For instance, just face it, i am not a good cook. I never been to kitchen helping Ibu in my teen years. I only know how to cook rice when i first married Farouk and now after years and years of being married to him, i have improved. Not that fantastic yet but with some guidances from Farouk himself (He is quite established for what he loved most; to cook and enjoy the food), Ibu and of course, those receipe books, i can now cook a delicious dish of beef rendang (Rendang Terengganu) and the list went on. Even Areej also think some of it are delicious. Thank you, Sayang Mama.

In the world of man's domination, especially when you are working in the field where most workers are men, challenges are there and they are big challenges. Some men may think that i am either too fragile or incapable to travel here and there, under estimating what a woman can do in this man's world. Throughout 7 years of working, i have learnt many things apart from being taught a lot from those nicest bunch of experienced people like Abang Jamal and Mai especially on documentation and not to be suprised, i also make some new friends here. It is such a hard work but i do accomplished some of the skills while working in this field.

Pretty suprised when i was assigned to do other task starting from October last year plus another new task early this year. I accepted it with an open heart and prayed to God to give me guidances. Funny how people when they are sitting on a higher post they can totally changed to be someone different or maybe it is just me, being too naive to realize that they are obviously pretenders and when the time comes, their true colours will soon revealed. Have it your way then and to be honest, i have no regret.

What i know now is i missed Ayah terribly. I hope to visit him more often and be nice to him whenever i see him although i must admit, i had a pretty bad childhood experience because of him. Below is a picture of Ayah which i can picture most in my mind when we were having family dinner last year......

It was such a happy moment when we were together as a family.....I hope we can get together again soon:)